Sorry Mr. Y

Do I have feeling to him?
When he tried to hold my hand just now.. I seem got some shocked feeling.. Just a few seconds, it has gone..
I asked him, don he think that we are too fast to fall in love?
He said, No! because got feeling..
For me, Yes! because I scare..
I scare to start a new love.. I scare it will end by a broken heart..
I dont have confident to handle a love very well..
I know, I never try.. I wont get any conclusion..
But.. I am lacking of a little courage.. a little impulse to start a new love..
Sigh~ what can I do?
Don force me to make a decision right now..
Still got many factors i need to consider or think well..
How?

Should I don't think too much and get together with him?
I know I already made him unhappy now.. cos he wanted my reply since jz nw..
but i really need to think for few more days..
So sorry to you.. I really dont hope to make u unhappy..
very sorry..
Plz forgive me... sigh~
I don want you to be sad..
Suddenly my heart feel pain when i saw ur personal msg..
why i feel pain?!
Do i have some feeling towards u? I care about you?
Mayb.. suddenly feel heart pain to ur msg..
Anyway.. give me some times.. i will reply you!!! k?

The Painful Breath

梁静茹-会呼吸的痛

在东京铁塔第一次眺望
看灯火模仿坠落的星光
我终於到达但却更悲伤
一个人完成我们的梦想

你总说时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛

遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛.....


>>> 为何这首歌能够唱出我当时的心情，当时的痛。。
为何你能够那么地神奇。。能够写出我当时的心痛。。
那是多么地贴切。。那么地真实！！
很久都没有见过他了。。只是他最近又找我加入他某个网站的朋友列表。。
我很久以前都已经删除他了。。为何他要找回我呢？
当我已下了决定的事情，是不会再回头了。。
对不起，只怪当初你伤害我太深了。。
不能怪我不和你做回朋友。。
而且现在已经没有这个必要了。。<<<<

A little trouble~

Why the Guys and Girls cannot be good friends?
Why the Guys and Girls have to step into another stage after a time?
Why they cant stay in the original position? in friend stages..
It's so hard to have a pure relationship between guys and girls.. Really!!!

Mayb I scare to accept a new love now.. I scare to get hurt once again..
Actually He is a good guy.. but i think it's too fast for me to start a new love with him..
I know he always give many hints to me..
But I pretend I donno everything.. I am escaping~
BUt it is really too fast.. I dont really so understand him.. I donno everything from him..
and actually I care his past..
He can so fast to change him aim..
He loved another girl before.. but the girl did not accept him.. and I know the girl also..
Perhaps this is the matter that I couldn't accept it..
because he can love a person so quickly and give up so fast after rejected by that girl..
Mayb I don't understand guy's thinking..
so i quite care of this small matter..
He let me feel that.. he is easy to fall in love..
but i am not the one can fall in love easily..
Sigh~.. anyway love is really trouble..
I have a nice chat with him always.. He is a good friend that can chat.. can get fun also..
But I don really hope to have a higher stage with him in this temprorary..
Be friend is the best choices for me currently..
I don't hope to destroy the good relationship with him now..
I enjoy to sms with him.. chat with him..
So i don't hope to have any changes in this time..

I really hope that.. he can give both of us a time..
to truly understand and realize each other well..
to see whether we are really suitable to be couple or friends....

Take A time~....

A little Sad at Tonight~

如果一个男生在你面前流泪？
你会有什么感觉？你会有什么反应？
其实他们流泪，并不代表什么。。
也许只是一种情绪上的发泄而已。。
当初我还不明白，以为他还爱着我。。
其实都不是。。
现在我已懂了。。。
我永远都不会忘记曾经的伤害和心痛。。
那种心痛真的是心如刀割。。如此的真实。。

Already past a few years.. I seldom rmb back this kind of sadness..
Just suddenly a friend mentioned to me.. Once again.. I dropped into the sadness...
A sad memory..
But it's ok..
The time to sad already gone.. No more sad now.. just a little feeling only..

Wanted!

I have a Long time didnt type something here..
Jz now went to sing k with friends..
Sing k = screaming loudly..
Dont know have anyone will agree with my silly thought..? I think there is nobody..
A happy singing jz now..
Although i do not have any singing techniques.. any sweet voice..
At least, I can release my feel.. my everything inside my heart..
The screaming is converted into words and melodies..... it's comfortable in my heart..

Sigh~ actually I'm losing my direction now.. I dont know where to go..
I don't know I have the courage to give myself a chance to have a new life..
New life.. I'm so wanted to have a new life long long time ago..
But i'm lacking of some courage.. a little courage to change myself..
so troublesome..
IF there are someone helps me to decide something.. Guide me to a right pathway..
I think It's really wonderful..
But.. Our fate is in our hands..
No one can really help us..

What should i do right now?
When should be the aimless life ended? -.-

What Should I do?

昨天昨夜，其实我觉得非常伤心。。
只是，我并没有表露出来。。
家里的不愉快，学业的烦恼，朋友。。
其实我很想哭。。可是却压抑自己不准哭。。因为我要变得坚强。。坚强的人是不能流一滴泪的。。
成绩不如人，别人也不会找你一起申请大学。。
我什么都不懂。。成为了局外人。。
这最让我伤心。。难道我不能知道任何的程序？只因我的成绩不如人？

三个月的漫长假期。。让我越来越少接触外界。。好像也跟社会脱了节似的。。
朋友也没有几个是可以常出来聚一聚。。
熟悉的朋友。。少之又少。。十个手指头都能数得清。。
原来，我是如此的寂寞。。
也许我是时候应该要改变自己了。。改变自己的性格，改变自己的态度。。
不然。。朋友真的会越来越少。。
她，也不太理我了。。也许问题是出自我自己吧。。
我不懂。。
我不懂。。
我不要再想了。。
I am so Sad of it...
What should I do?
Nobody can help me, It depends on myself only...

A Crying Place

第一次，看见坚强的妈咪在我眼前流泪。。
我顿时变得手足无措。
我。。
不知如何是好。。

再坚强的人，也有脆弱的时候~
再坚强的人，也会有崩溃的一天~
我知道我妈现在一定是心如刀割，流血不止。。
她的血就化为泪水，不知不觉就在眼角流下。。
疲惫的她，苦不堪言。。。
她的苦，要向谁倾诉？

为什么我的家，不再是一个家？
我的家，是一个会令人伤心的地方。。
我的家，并没有任何的温暖气息。。 只有冷冰冰的空气~
我的家，只有争吵。。 不会有和平的对话~
我的家，会让每一个人都流泪。。。。

我的心真的受伤了~

隐藏

喜欢上一个自己不能够喜欢的人。。的确。。非常痛苦！
必需压抑自己的情感。。
不断地告诉自己。。他根本不适合你。。因为他不是你要找的人！
他并不是你的真命天子！
只有这样，心里才会好过一点!

遇上一个自己喜欢的人，真的不容易！
可是他却是个你不能够对他投入太多情感的人。。因为他现在不是自由身。。
所以，放弃也许是最好的选择。。
放弃，至少你不必那么地痛苦。。
放弃，至少你不会对他存有任何希望。。
放弃，至少自己能够得到解脱。。

也许有人会说，为何不去争取呢？
争取。。也许能够得到一辈子的幸福。。
争取？要拿什么来争取？
争取。。也许会带来两败俱伤。。
那倒不如不要争取。。至少有双方都不会受到任何伤害。。
争取自己的幸福~
说来容易。。
可是实际行动。。却不是那么地容易。。

保持现在的情况。。保持现在的关系。。
不要破坏一切
足于能够维持长长久久的关系。。
只要还存有朋友的关系。。
这段情谊也许还会有待续。。
也许还会有发展的空间。。

一个小人物，并不能在他心中占有任何位置。。
只要他偶尔记得我，我已经很满足了。。
经过岁月的洗涤，我们都变了。。
我们都变了。。
他已经不再是当初的他。。一切都已改变了。。
所以，我这个微不足道的小人物能够得到他的惦记，已经是很难的了。。

如果有机会的话，我并不会错过一个带给我蛮大影响力的他。。
因为他值得我去喜欢。。值得我去欣赏。。
要爱上他，并不简单。。
一切就顺其自然吧。。

只要他幸福，我会默默地祝福他。。
只要他快乐，我会替他感到快乐。。
只要他过得很好，我也会为他感到高兴。。

只要你能够。。愉快。。~~

能够从茫茫人海中遇见你，认识你。。也是一种缘分。。
谢谢你，缘分！
这份爱，只能够隐藏在心的最深处。。

I'm Back!

Last night, I felt very down suddenly. Tears fell down in the darkness.
Maybe I feel that I have to back to my own place and face all the unhappiness again..
Then, I cried.

在这短短的9天里，也在这既陌生却熟悉的地方
最能够让我短暂地忘了之前所发生过的一切，所有的烦恼。。
也许一时感触，我隐藏在心里的泪水不小心地掉了出来。。
我一直在逃避。。逃避所有的一切。。
这是一种不负责任的态度。。我懂！
面对~才是负责任应有的态度。。我。。不懂！
我真的不想回到孤独的地方。。
一个没有人了解我的地方！
我真的很害怕孤独的侵袭。。很害怕！
我喜欢热闹！
热闹。。带给我充裕的心灵。。

或者这也是一小部分的事情而已。。
也许我是舍不得吧。。
舍不得那个地方。。舍不得一切。。一切。。
包括人与物。。

可是，还是得面对现实
现实让我必需面对现在
现实让我必须忘掉过去。。

快乐又疲倦的9天。。就这样过去了。。
I Love the days in that place.
I miss the days in that place.
I love the relaxing life..
I love to have fun everytime..
I Hate boring and lonely...

Anyway, Everything has already become a past.
everything has become a memory!
Although it couldn't be the sweetest memory..
but at least we gain the fun in the 9 days..

Miss you!

2008

Step into the 2nd day of the year of 2008..
It is just like, the new year eve was just at last night only..
The new year eve, I was not happy! Because I felt guilty at the night.
The night I also felt very bored too. One word = it's bored!! (-"-)
I do not have any expectation although i hope that it could be a wonderful new year eve.
Anyway, it's really nothing special for me!!

Only one thing that can make me have a bit mood is.... Watch movie!
Watch "Enchanted" this movie. A modified fairy tale...
Funny and happy..

2007, is the bad luck year! Unhappy and not a smoothly year for me!
I know that I'm really unlucky especially in the month of december! Haiz...

The year of 2008.. The number of the year sounds quite nice..
I do not have any dreams for right now..
but I hope that any of my dreams for the coming days will be achieved..
"Dreams come true".. a very nice sentence..
but it would be more nice when the dreams really come true!!

Hope that everything can be gone smoothy in the brand new year!
The most important is, I wanna throw away all the bad luck and unhappy!
please don't follow me anymore!! 我受够了!

.....................................................................

To myself,
good luck in 2008!!!